I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
