apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
