take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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