I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
