Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
