You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
