they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
