I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Pants are for mortals
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
