I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think your dad took our porno
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
