he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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