seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
