road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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