As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
