So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
