I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
