I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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