I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
