I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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