I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
