There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
