The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
