how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
