who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
