I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
