help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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