I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
