i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
