Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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