All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
