I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
