I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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