I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
