Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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