you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
