I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
