Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
this will be a night to untag.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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