you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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