Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
