if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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