True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
