the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
accomplished twins. life is a go
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
