the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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