I want to stick my p in your. b.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
