I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Randomize
