Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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