We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
