Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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