yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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