is your mom at the bar?
her vagine was all disorganized.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
