I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
